STEP 1
There is no way around the fact that this is going to hurt the other person. All you can do is try to minimize the pain. It's just like ripping off a sticking plaster - if you rip it off all in one go, the pain will be over quickly, but if you do it slowly, it will hurt for longer.
Do not break up with the person by phone, instant message, or e-mail; this is disrespectful. Have the decency to do it privately and in person.
STEP 3
Try to avoid placing blame on the other person for the break up. Reflect carefully on the reasons for your decision to break up and be prepared to justify them without blaming your partner.
STEP 4
Be prepared for a range of emotions. When you finally break up with them, you have to be prepared for anything they give you. It could be sadness, anger, or even a lack of emotion. Also, make sure you know for sure that this is the right choice, otherwise it's possible that you may be convinced to give them another chance.
STEP 5
Don't lead your former partner on. If you don't feel as though you would like to continue being 'just friends' with this person, don't tell them that you would.
STEP 6
Use discretion in telling mutual friends. Bragging or gossiping could be very hurtful to someone who may already be in an emotional state, be careful in how you tell others. Be careful and try not to get into an argument and start calling her things that you don't really mean, Even if she is going total physio on you.
TIPS
* Following these rules will make the process much more painless for both of you and may get you a positive reference in the future.
* Never say any of the classic break-up lines like "It's not you, it's me."
* Wait some time before getting another girlfriend, especially if your former girlfriend will run into you often. DO NOT start going with another girl right after, or even before, you break up with your girlfriend. At least have the decency to wait.
* Do not make the pain more hurtful by sending unpleasant messages or phone calls.
WARNING
* Let the break up be final.
* No matter how nice you are, the pain is still the same, and they're going to resent you whether you just say it or are the nicest you can be.
* Put yourself in their place, imagine her saying whatever you will tell them to you. Don't make it so hard, and don't ignore her.
* Do not talk to him/her in the following days! After a few days go by, it might be tempting to see how they are doing to ease your guilt, and also see how they are doing with the breakup. This is often bad because it reminds them of the relationship that was lost and doesn't let them move on. Keep in mind most people get past stress with either anger or depression. Anger is much more productive for them and allows them to move on in a healthy way.
* Just remember what the video says above. If the relationship is indeed taken so far as to never become a friendship after the breakup, then stay away!
Another
Look, it's not easy. She's hot, you love her and everyone will be still asking you about her for months. So what do you do?
Instructions
1.
Decide this IS what you want to do. This is the most important step. I first thought about it probably a year before I actually did it. It's not easy to do believe me. All the benefits of a relationship are tough to just give up. Knowing you have someone is a great thing in life. Plus all the etra-curriculars (kissing, dates, holding hands, sex etc...) make this an even harder thing to decide. However, maybe she'll do something that you'll never be able to forgive her for. Maybe you'll find someone you like even more. Maybe you'll wake up someday and not be attracted to her anymore. Maybe you move apart...whatever it is, you must be ABSOLUTELY SURE you want to breakup with her. For me the hardest part was being able to live without sex. Once I realized I didn't need to have sex everyday, I realized I really didn't need a gf I didn't even like. For others it may be different but you get the idea.
2.
Mentally Prepare. Once you decide "you know what, I think I want to break it off with my girl" then you gotta just get that thought in your head and not let it leave. It is so EASY so wimp out and be in a relationship you don't even want to be in just because you don't or can't break it off. So you need to get it thru your thick skull: "hey man, I know she's a good girl but nothing in life lasts forever, not even life..." it's a tough pill to swallow especially for your first girlfriend. Trust me, I never EVER thought I would ever break up with my girlfriend but you know, things change, people change, its a fact of life. How many people do you know have been devastated because they broke up with their girlfriend/boyfriend? Its tough for some people, but hey its life, you gotta be able to cope with it. So, once you've decided you want to dump her and have mentally gotten yourself in the "I'm single now" mindset, theres nothing left to do but tell her how you feel...
3.
Tell her. This is the worst part, especially if it's gonna be a surprise. If she cheated on you or did some crappy things then this part can be very gratifying. My girlfriend treated me like sh*t 1 too many times so it was time to just end it. I felt terrible because I really liked her (she was hot) and we were very good together (we had sex a lot) but like I said, things change and nothing lasts forever. It's best to do this step in person. Online or on the phone is pretty pathetic and you are a lousy person if thats how you handle it, or you're like 13 years old. A good line is "I don't know I feel differenty about you", "I want to be just friends now" or "I'm sick of fighting, I want to break up with you" is cool to. Just don't be mushy, don't let her talk you out of it, don't leave it open to interpretation. Make it a done deal.
4.
Get over it. Easier said than done. I still think about my ex every 30 seconds! You just get very accustomed to thinking and caring about someone, its tough to break the spell they have on you. The best things to do I've found are to work out, get a job, chill with your friends, go out and party, meet new girls, talk to girls you've aways liked but couldn't really go there because you had a GF you know stuff you did before you had a gf. Basically, you need to be positive about it, realize there are way cooler girls out there and she was just a stepping stone/learning experince to better, hotter girls!
